Nothing In The 'Verse: The Inner Light
by Dongyrn
Summary: The fifth one-shot from my ongoing OC Firefly Series, Nothing In The 'Verse. Fifteen years in the future, Danielle Grant is an old and broken woman, with few of the Favour's crew still by her side. How did this come to pass?


**Nothing In The 'Verse  
** **One-Shot: The Inner Light**

 _Fortune's Favour_. Unknown space.

Danielle Grant slowly opened her eyes with a groan of effort. She was lying on her back, alone in bed. Something told her it had been that way for a number of years now, but she struggled to remember the why of it. She lifted a trembling hand to her face, but paused as she saw the paper-thin texture of her skin and the blue veins clearly standing out.

 _I'm old_ , she thought to herself wonderingly. _How'd that happen?_

With effort, she turned her head to look around her bunk. Nothing seemed changed, really. There were fewer clothes and such strewn about, perhaps, but other than that, the only thing missing was...

"Lori?" she croaked, her throat parched.

As if summoned, the hatch to her room opened and legs appeared, moving down the ladder. Instead of her wife, however, she saw her sister-in-law, Jess. The Asian-featured woman looked almost ageless, really, slight crows-feet at the corners of her eyes the only thing to suggest she had grown older as well. She gave Dani a small, humorless smile.

"I see we're awake," the raven-haired woman said briskly. She carried a mug of what smelled like broth in her hands, and set it down on the table. "Let's get you situated so you can have breakfast."

As Jess helped Dani sit up, adjusting pillows behind her with an ease that spoke of the many times she'd been doing this, Dani noticed from the wisps of hair that fell forward that she was no longer a brunette. Her thick, wavy hair had gone stark white and lifeless.

She gratefully accepted the broth, and took a few sips while Jess looked on dispassionately. "Mmm," Dani sighed, leaning her head back. "Thank you, Jess."

"Well, at least you remember my name today," the other woman sighed. "You going to be okay for a bit? I need to get back onto the bridge."

"Wait, please," Dani implored. "I don' understand... where's Lori?"

Jess closed her eyes wearily. "Ah. It's going to be one of those days." She opened her eyes back up. "I'm sorry, Dani, I don't have the strength or patience for this right now. I'll send your daughter down, alright?" Without waiting for an answer, she turned and climbed rapidly back up the ladder, almost as if she were trying to escape the confines of the bunk.

Dani frowned to herself, fighting to remember. _What happened? Why can't I 'member none?_

Eventually, as she just finished her mug of broth, another pair of legs made their way down the ladder. Dani blinked watery eyes and squinted, but sure enough it was her eldest daughter Rain. She was undeniably older now, her previously pixie-cut hair now just brushing her shoulders. She looked a little bit wearier as well, but there were obvious laugh lines now creasing her cheeks.

"Hey there _Kaasan_ ," her daughter said gently, a neutral look on her face. "Can't stay long none, we gotta make some course changes soon, 'pending on the Capt'n's orders."

That seemed to at least clear a few things up in her head. "Jess is Capt'n now?" Dani asked.

Rain nodded solemnly, still standing. "Right, been that way for a few years now, ever since... Well. What d'ya 'member? Jess said ya don' 'member 'bout Lori, yeah?"

Dani nodded, a tear trickling down her cheek. "Please, _baobei_ , I'm havin' trouble..." She took a deep breath that seemed to rattle in her withered chest. "C'n ya tell me what happened to Lori? Why ain't she here?"

"Okay," Rain replied quietly, stepping back after retrieving Dani's mug to sit at the chair next to the desk. Dani noted she didn't move it first to sit near her. "Been through this 'fore, more times'n I c'n count, but I gots the time to at least give ya that much."

Her eldest daughter sighed and leaned back in the chair, staring down at the deck between her feet. "Fifteen years ago, now," she started quietly. "We landed on a lil' moon orbintin' the gas giant called Dragon's Egg, 'round Blue Sun. Moon's name was Nakula." She smiled to herself bitterly. "Wish I never hadta say that gorram name ever 'gain."

Dani shifted slightly so that she didn't have to crane her neck to look over. "I 'member that name somehow..."

Rain nodded. "I 'spect it's pretty much burned inta yer brainpan by now. Anyhow, y'all went down on a mission, don' rightly recall the details. But while y'all were down there..." She paused, glancing up at Dani. "Well, while y'all were on this job, Lori got herself killed."

The old woman felt her breath hitch in her chest. She felt like she'd been told this a million times before, but the rawness of it still hit her like a knife between her ribs.

Rain nodded again, and went to stand. "Feather just got outta the shower. I'm gonna have her come down 'gain fer a spell, bring Noelle."

"Noelle?" the other woman repeated, her voice a harsh whisper.

Rain let out another sad sigh. "Yeah, _Kaasan_. Yer granddaughter. Feather an' I been married fer some time now."

She left at that, without having touched Dani at all. The old woman stared at the chair she had been sitting in, thoughts whirling through her clouded mind. _Lori's dead. An' I gots a granddaughter. Who all is still on the_ Favour _?_

She started to drift off to sleep, but was startled awake by a small form jumping down the hatch and landing with a _thud_. Bright, curious green eyes looked at her from under a mop of unruly brown wavy hair.

The little girl, perhaps five years old, was followed at a more sedate pace by a pair of shapely legs encased in shorts. Feather huffed when she hit the bottom. " _Baobei_ , what'd I tell ya 'bout jumpin' down inta this here bunk?"

"Ya said not ta," a small voice piped up. Dani looked at the girl wonderingly. _Those eyes, they look like..._ "She gots my eyes," she said out loud, wonderingly.

Feather smiled over at her. "Hey _Kaasan_ , sorry 'bout the lil' scamp here. She's been wantin' ta visit ya fer a spell. But she still knows better'n ta jump in like that," she finished sternly, looking down at her daughter.

"Sorry mama," Noelle said contritely, before turning back to Dani. "Hi, _wai po_ (maternal grandmother). Been workin' on a picture fer ya. Wanna see?"

"Sure, _baobei_ ," Dani replied gently. "I'd love to see whatcha been drawin'."

"Yay!" the little girl cheered, before leaping onto the bed with her drawing book clenched in her fist.

"Noelle," Feather sighed, pulling the chair up to the side of the bed.

Dani smiled, her lips feeling rather thin and bloodless. "It's fine, I don' mind none."

Noelle excitedly showed off her latest coloring. It was supposedly a cherry blossom tree from Sihnon, though it was a little rough around the edges. Still, for a five-year-old, it was quite detailed.

"Tha's beautiful, _baobei_ ," Dani said finally. She laid a trembling hand on the top of her granddaughter's head. "Ya gonna finish it soon?"

"Yeah!" the girl cheered, leaping back off of the bed. "I'll do it right now, so's I c'n leave it here with ya!"

Dani smiled at her granddaughter affectionately as she pulled her crayons out of her pocket, stretched out on the floor, and got busy coloring. Her feet kicked idly in the air behind her as she lay on her stomach and hummed contentedly to herself.

"She's wonderful," Dani sighed, and Feather chuckled lightly at her words.

"She's a handful, too. Rain keeps tellin' me I should be grateful she ain't as bad as she was at that age." The auburn-haired woman, still looking vibrant but with a few age lines on her face, placed a hand on Dani's arm. "So, Rain's tellin' me yer a lil' more coherent today. She toldya 'bout Lori, yeah?"

Dani nodded, feeling the tears welling up in her eyes again, but not wanting to disturb Noelle. "I don' 'member anythin' else after that, neither. Where's ev'ryone else?"

"Right," Feather sighed, lightly grasping the old woman's arm. "So, after Lori died, ya kinda went on a downward spiral, yeah? Yer niece, Em, she tried to help some, but ya pushed 'er away. Pushed us all away," she amended quietly, but gave herself a little shake before continuing. "Well, she was the first to leave. Hooked back up with the Far Reach. Far as I know, she's still with 'em. Ain't heard from her in some time."

The woman leaned back in her chair a bit, crossing her arms in front of her as if prepared to deliver news worse than that of Dani losing her wife. "After that, ya gots less interested in runnin' the ship, though we still called ya Capt'n an' all. Keith picked up mosta the slack. Until the War broke out, mebbe ten years ago."

"War?" Dani asked curiously.

Feather nodded wearily. "Been goin' since. Second War fer Independence, been tearin' the 'Verse apart. Startin' ta wind down some, now, looks like Kalidasa might become an independent system. Anyways, gettin' ahead of myself.

"The War got yer interest somethin' fierce. Ya gots really involved with the rebellion, left the ship fer a spell by yerself to try an' train pilots. Leastways, that's what ya told us. Really, you were flyin' missions 'gain, runnin' blockades an' such. Finally got yerself captured 'round Hera, sentenced fer death."

Feather swallowed, as if the memory were still raw for her as well. "Keith decided to lead an effort ta break ya outta prison. He an' Jess, Sara, an' even Kelly went in to fetch ya." Feather looked away briefly. "Jess was th'only one ta come back with ya."

Dani felt as if the world was spinning around her. She let out a soft moan, leaning her head back. "They're all dead? Sara too?"

"Yeah," Feather replied softly. "I think Cali took it th'hardest. You were back ta bein' a shell 'gain, hardly speakin' no more. Seemed bein' in prison, an' then losin' th'other three, just sucked the life right outta ya. So she left too. Took a job on 'nother transport, big one. She's Chief Mechanic now."

The old woman stared up at the ceiling morosely. "I killed 'em."

"No, _Kaasan_ ," Feather protested weakly.

"I did," Dani interjected, tears silently running down her face. "I killed 'em, an' then drove everyone else away. I understand now why Jess can't hardly stand the sight of me none. Even Rain, she looked pained t'see me." She looked over at Feather, who also had tear-streaked cheeks. "Why didya stay?"

Feather smiled warmly, grasping Dani's hand in her own. "I lost my mom a long time ago. An' you were so welcomin' to me... Yer my _Kaasan_ now too. My family. An' there ain't no O'Donnel who gives up on her family none." She glanced over at her daughter, still oblivious to the emotional turmoil. "'Sides, once you join up with the _Favour_ , why wouldya ever leave? This's our home now."

"Yeah, it is," Dani said sadly.

Just then Noelle jumped up, paper clenched triumphantly in her fist. "All done!" She leaped back onto the bed, thrusting the paper at Dani. "Here ya go, _wai po_!"

"Noelle," Feather sighed good-naturedly. "Please be careful..."

"It's fine," Dani reassured gently as she unscrolled the paper with arthritic hands. "Oh, _baobei_ , it's wonderful... Now, who're these two folk down here? Are you in there, or are those yer two mamas?"

Noelle shook her head, her curly brown locks whipping around her face. "Nope. Tha's you, an' tha's my other _wai po_. Gramma Lori, my mama an' mommy done told me all 'bout her."

Dani brought a trembling hand up to her mouth and gasped slightly. Sure enough, one of the figures had short red hair, and was holding hands with the other figure, white-haired but standing upright. "It's beautiful, Noelle," she choked out quietly.

"Okay, _baobei_ ," Feather addressed her daughter, tears threatening to spill out over her cheeks anew. "Why don' you go an' visit with yer mommy fer a spell? I'll be up inna tic."

"Okay mama!" the little girl chirped merrily. She sprang up, stuffed her crayons back in her pocket and then scampered back up the ladder. With the coloring book clenched between her teeth, she moved like a nimble monkey.

Dani was staring at the picture, enraptured. Her face was dry, as if she had no more tears to offer. "I'm tired, _baobei_ ," she whispered. "I hardly 'member what all happened, but it seems like just yesterday I still had my Lori. I miss 'er, an' I'm tired."

"Here, _Kaasan_ ," Feather said gently, getting up from the chair. "Lemme get ya one of yer blankets, alright? You rest fer a spell..."

She trailed off as she turned back to the bed. Dani was lying so very still, her eyes closed and hands still clutching the picture. There was a faint smile on her face, but Feather could tell she was no longer breathing.

The auburn-haired mechanic choked back a sob, and sat the blanket back down carefully. Leaning over, she placed a gentle kiss on the old woman's forehead and whispered, "Bye, _Kaasan_. I love you."

 _Fortune's Favour._ En route to Nakula, moon of Dragon's Egg.

Dani opened her eyes slowly, taking in the room's surroundings. She was in bed again, but she wasn't alone. There was a freckled arm across her chest, and she heard the soft snore of her wife in her ear.

She hitched her breath as the memories of her dream came back to her in a rush. _It all felt so real... It was justa dream, Lori's safe, an' she never went down to..._

"Nakula." With that word, she sat upright suddenly, sweat beading her brow.

Lori woke up next to her, face wrinkled in confusion. "Whazzat...? _Wo de ai_ , what's wrong?"

Dani bolted out of bed and threw on her pants. "Stay here, love. I gotta make a quick course change, an' then I'm comin' back, an' I want ya 'wake when I do."

"Oh, really?" Lori smirked at her sleepily, propping her head up on one hand and letting the sheets fall from her breasts. "An' what 'xactly arya plannin' on doin' when ya get back?"

Dani grinned as she tugged her tank top over her head. "I'll let yer 'magination figgure it out."

She turned and headed up the ladder towards the bridge. Keith would be on watch, she'd let him deal with the client tonight. There were other planets in the Blue Sun system they could get jobs at, New Canaan was always good for such. She'd set the new course and then rejoin her wife shortly.

And she silently vowed to herself to never, ever let Lori set foot on the moon of Nakula.

* * *

 **NOTES:** Whew, that was a little more emotional than my usual one-shots. I took inspiration from the excellent ST:TNG episode by the same name, where Picard is struck with an energy beam from an unknown probe that causes him to live out more than forty years of memories of Kamin, a member of a human-like species on a planet that is threatened by its local sun going nova, while only twenty-five minutes passes for the rest of the USS Enterprise crew as they try to revive Picard. It's arguably one of the best TNG episodes.

I had actually planned on this being a regular episode, with other filler parts, but I wanted to keep the story pure. I think it stands well enough on its own.

In the continuity of my ongoing story **Nothing In The 'Verse** , there's really no specific place it needs to fit in. Obviously it happens after Feather joins the crew, so let's say sometime after Episode 46.

Thanks for reading my fifth one-shot! Appreciate any reviews, and if you haven't picked up my ongoing series, please do!


End file.
